For the past five minutes or so, the can of Pepsi that I’ve been nursing in the hopes of jacking my eyelids open before crashing in a spectacular blaze of saccharine and other stuff has been issuing a muffled hissing. It really does go quite well with the rattling of the A/C and sex of the neighbors. 

Question I: Is it worth the decayed teeth and bubbling innards? Oh, you betcha.